Today I spotted a new spread in Waitrose and instantly felt a lump in my throat, and infuriated. The contradiction! The injustice; I cried when I got home.

I don’t like not being seen, like I'm invisible; working alone is isolating and it’s hard to change my perspective on my own.

The power balance in business, especially between buyers and brands, makes me really genuinely angry. Here's why.

Diary entries written from 2018 to 2019, writing this blog post is the first time I read them from start to finish.

Overwhelmed by thoughts - 29, single, no other real job experience than a subjectively-failed business - what do I do next?

There is no winning with an eating disorder. Less pride in recovery milestones, I only hear and see weight gain - and it still scares me.

Following a trend on Instagram is the perfect analogy of running a business - time believed to be well-spent can often allude to nothing.

Holidays are more about looking good in a bikini; until I'm loved and successful, I don’t believe I deserve it.

I am more afraid of, threatened by weekends than weekdays. Mental health ruins my capacity for fun.

I live in a constant state of worry - who will I be on the other side of recovery, and will people like me?

I am obsessed with my business but equally feel lost, depleted and unsure. Do I quit now and will I be happier for it?

I joined a co-working space to help normalise socialising and eating habits - unfortunately, I have not enjoyed one free perk yet.

In terms of what ‘success’ means to me - my business is far from it. And when I fail in business, I fail elsewhere.

I am curious - if I was honest with myself sooner, would my business be more successful today?

A job that I love but has a high chance of no reward. Welcome to running a business.