Persistence

Being an ‘entrepreneur’ is a strange concept, creating a product from scratch that never existed before - and someone choosing to buy it. Weird; if I think about it too much; it baffles me, to be honest. And yet I thought it was going to be easy. If I could become this invested in something that a year prior was not on my radar, and as instantaneously as I was, how could someone else not be? Sometimes I feel like an imposter, that the label ‘entrepreneur’ does not apply to me - that there is a separate word for the act of falling in love with a product that inspired me - no, impelled me - I needed to take it public so that others could get a taste of it, too; the word ‘entrepreneur’ does not even cut it.

To feel how I feel - I underestimated the process, or ‘strategy’, of selling; chasing buyers is relentless. Passion is my greatest asset, unmeasurable, infinite; easy for me to believe in the brand, I have optimism bias. NB is going to revolutionise the category within a year or two, max. (how can it not?). The persistence I was not expecting; trying to convince someone who has never heard of the brand, no interest, perhaps; to acquire new customers who are inundated with product proposals - NB in their opinion is just another nut butter brand with a promising vision but is overall not dissimilar enough to the rest of the category to buy into it - the prospect of NB not being well received was unknown; once my quest for NB became real - what I thought would be an easy sell still to date is more difficult and disheartening than I ever anticipated.

Over the years, I have tried cold-calling, sending emails, weekly, to date, turning up with samples at health shops and cafés in hope of persuading the manager on shift to place an order there and then. It works, sometimes. Once I hand-delivered a framed photograph of NB to the buyer at Whole Foods Market - photoshopped to include over 30 positive customer reviews - taking the advice of doing something that stands out quite literally. I made it past reception, I have no idea if they ever received it, it could be on the wall, in the bin… (If you are reading this, please let me know. The intrigue is real).

I was unlimited until I realised there are limits; buyers became untouchable; I never felt like I was going to lose, except the people I needed the most gave me push-back on the product I most needed them to believe. Honestly it confused me. Something I created, yet I felt I had no control over; I determined its destiny, but I alone could not make it happen. It began to unsettle me, how the power balance tips in their favour, how easily buyers can demand by way of seduction, but also how much I play up to it. I am such a goodie tooshoes! In October 2021, I was in touch with a potential new wholesaler. On their request I dropped my selling cost, agreed to their lower minimum order quantity, a promising conversation; I thought their next email was going to include the contract, or good news! Instead they said no, the category is already quite saturated. I cried when I read the email; I was on holiday at the time. The category was saturated at our first introduction, why lift my hopes up only to drop me back down? Naturally I responded to thank them for their feedback; I dried my eyes and dusted myself off as though no one were to know of the hurt I felt in my heart. Show no vulnerability; my greatest fear is for someone in this power position to be given a reason to say no, if I am rude, or if I refute their behaviour - I can not and am not willing to sacrifice NB’s chance of being listed in Holland & Barrett or Booths out of my own pettiness to want to make a point. To prove that I am just as much of a person with something worthwhile to say, I want to be heard, I deserve some respect, too! Nor am I trying to waste their time, or be annoying. I need help. Please!

I appreciate I am one of a hundred people, possibly a thousand, determined to make their product seen. Silence I expect. Being told no for no reason is better than nothing. When a competitor lands, that stings. At first I am like, you will not take a chance on me but you will take a chance on {insert competitor}? You stock seven brands of plain peanut butter - you claim to support products that help to reduce our sugar intake and still are not willing to try something new? NB is the change we need to see - take the risk, FFS! 

I also appreciate that any one’s job is made harder when there is risk involved (and KPIs to hit, and senior leaders to answer to), and NB and I are one; taste is subjective; I guarantee I am just as nervous. In November 2016, for example, a shop in Hackney started selling NB - 50 units to start. As excited as I was to get my products on shelf, it was down to me to get them off. By March 2017, the remaining unsold stock had to be discounted due to the upcoming shelf life. For whatever reason - lack of marketing, customers, knowledge of the brand - I never even considered sampling - NB was given a chance, by the store manager I met and persuaded to, and I regrettably lost them money. That was the end of our working relationship; it taught me a lot.

In 2018, this turbulent rollercoaster journey of being hopeful, and then not, is what eventually got under my skin. Annoyed me, made me stubborn to not be put off by this game of back and fourth, what both hardened my skin and made me unsure of what to do next. But I think what happened is my identity was very closely tied to achievement, and I was not achieving what I wanted attached to. NB was destined for more than this, I knew it, it was supposed to be more accessible by now; when it was not going as I planned (imagined and glamorised), I felt trapped in a sort of limbo land. Trying what I thought would work and seeing first hand that it was not, and may not. But also I refused to stop. Even when someone set up an introductory call and then I never heard from them again (they had since been on maternity leave and come back in the time that I was still chasing, I found out eventually). Even when I pitched NB to my fifth point of contact in the company, only to follow up and receive their bounce-back response, I have now left the company… Even when I never get a thank you for sending samples of nut butter, I must have sent over 200 jars over the years - got lost? Sure, I can send more!

Being a derivative of me, NB is more than business, the impact it has and the legacy it leaves is personal; at times it feels like I am selling a part of myself! And one person has the power to change everything. Not just NB’s financial projection but also the brand elevation, exposure, my own self-confidence. So I would choose Selfridges for free over my own decent profit margins; I continue to bite the bait because I need retail support more than they need me - and I would do it all over again. The possibility of gain trumps my sitting still and (feeling sorry for myself) getting nowhere; that future keeps me going. Relentless as the selling cycle is, probably for the recipients of my badgering as well - if there is a 0.5% chance of Waitrose launching a new nut butter, that 0.5% is going to be me. I have to think like that. Say no and the clock re-starts, give me three months and I will be back in the buyer’s inbox. No is never no, 2025 isn’t that far away (she says through gritted teeth). And what is the worst that can happen (because I can tell you the best)?