Notes unedited or changed taken from a journal I used between 2018 and 2019.

Almost overnight, running a business suddenly felt hard. The first time I saw through the excitement and thought, f**k.

July 2018, in the run up to an event hosted by my distributor, weeks before, even, every bone in my body was telling me not to go.

Being an ‘entrepreneur’ is a strange concept; creating something from scratch. I thought it was going to be easy.

For over two years I made nut butter at home - officially moving manufacturing out of my kitchen - I felt like a new woman!

Admittedly, since my last market in 2020, following on from lockdown closures, I am torn between missing them and feeling relieved.

With no plan or looking back, from January 2016 I just did; said yes over no; I needed other people to try my product.

On Thursday 26th November the doors to the BBC Winter Good Food Show opened to the public. NB was officially live.

In October 2015 I gave myself an ultimatum. Take my brand public, or drop it; that same week I booked my first trade show.

In 2019, I confessed to my therapist that my business was semi-born of an eating disorder and cried throughout the entire session.

In 2015 I tried almond butter for the first time and felt inspired to start making my own. Immediately I fell in love.

This book is less a reflection on 'how I made it' - this is my story of relentless hope, ending unknown.

Developing an eating disorder was inevitable. I have always cared about what people think and it thrived off my low self-esteem.